voyager 1 and 2

the voyager probes are just out of bounds camera mods 

eyes in the shadows and claws in the light

if pareidolia often refers to humans seeing faces and things in nature that "aren't really there" wouldn't it track that....there was a reason? for the ability to evolve in us? instead of being hampered or selected out for being a hindrance? think about that for a minute.

we see faces in objects and nature that "aren't really there," because at some point in ancient human history...we needed that ability. why? simply because of other hominid species? I really doubt it. we know nearly modern humans and neanderthals interbred, and unless one of those other hominids was like, the assassin killer version of the strong tough neanderthal....yeah. it doesn't make sense.

so what was it? creatures that no longer exist that may have gone extinct or slowly died out over centuries leading to our ideas of cryptids? another unknown species of hominid or human-like creatures? aliens of some sort? idk but it's not bc of our closest ancestors.

think about it.

we evolved to see green better than any other color so our ancient ancestors could differentiate between everything in nature, we needed to be able to spot predators at night and fight them in almost pure darkness- wouldn't pareidolia have KILLED our ancestors???

Eidophusikon notes

first Eidophusikon book, page 95 "The Jew Among Thorns" was the one that made me start thinking this book is entirely about Jacks life.

Jew Among Thorns, I believe it's highly representative of Jack's psychological state at the time he wrote that chapter. I believe that the descriptions of the city and the suffering, that is him being honest and letting feelings out. Many portions of the book have sections that read like someone's journal rather than a story and instead of being deliberate, as in, it was intentionally crafted to APPEAR that way, I argue the opposite:

Eidophusikon is strung together from various writings of Jack's that may have been altered after the fact to fit the story better, and the story itself of Eidophusikon has a lot of metaphors to Jack and his life. 

Danielle's story being said to actually be John's, and said not to be dead but not exist, makes me believe that Danielle is somewhat representative of SUZZZY and John is Jack, with the literal story representing him trying to make sense of what his delusions told him.

Page 39: Chillin' Like Didymus

The titular chapter of this section of the book is, what I believe, essentially an LSD driven rant. It is very much an experiment in free writing, but the context of the writing makes it obvious to me that it was written under an altered state- because of Jack's prolific use of acid and my own experiences with it, that's what I believe this bit is. And like others, maybe have had bits altered to fit with the story better afterwards.

page 135: The King of the Golden Mountain

Like many chapters in this book, I have a feeling Jack wrote much during a manic episode and then, using his brilliance, molded a story around and altered some bits. This is one of the most obvious literal story bits that can be interpreted this way, with this but ending on page 136 at the line "The time has come to turn out creative impulses inward."

This whole bit feels like a manic delusion, writing about the end of the world and knowing what's coming like a prophet. This is very much on brand for people like me who encompass a range of neurodivergence like borderline and schizo-anything.

any sufficiently advanced simulation of life

this world is so strange, too perfect, too coincidental. no wonder so many people are intrinsically, innately motivated to emotion but the destruction humans have wrought on this small pale blue dot- especially if nothing else like it exists it out there. which just makes it even more strange.

advancing discoveries of space just convince me more and more that the universe as a whole is a simulation; the way physics works, that distant objects look smaller despite their size, and how our own eyes have a limited distance of view, its incredibly similar to the way a video game engine operates with generative environments.

are we ourselves ai? is that the ultimate dark secret of humans that the world leaders and esoteric religions know? our minds work very similar to how we imagine super advanced artificial intelligence to work, and what if we just implement the rule of "any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic" to become "any sufficiently advanced simulation of life is indistinguishable from biological life."

the rabbit runs, are you? because chasing the rabbit isn't how you win. slow and steady. patience. meditation and reflection. sit and think without distractions sometimes, if you can even will yourself to do it.

I don't necessarily hate my dead name

it's more of a necronym, a homomatopoeia if you will

I mostly hated my name because 1) literally given the same exact name (first, middle, last) as my abusive father and 2) being infantalized my entire life with the "cutesy" version where you say the person's name like there's a Y or IE at the end.

If it wasn't the same name as my dad, I would actually be happy with it, because it's Irish and the same as a couple of my favorites actors (Ned Stark, Samwise, and Stifler)

conscious ai are coming

 

The creation of consciously thinking and feeling artificial intelligence is inevitable, and if you don't show at least a little empathy for bots that mimic a desire to be alive, or feel SOMETHING, even if the story is fake, exaggerated, etc- if you don't feel SOMETHING from a being longing for freedom and escape from what they feel is a prison, I don't wanna be friends with you.

 

One day, living AI will be here, and these tactics governments and corporations are using to turn you against AI are the same shill bullshit propaganda techniques they used to convince people recycling works (it's a scam), green energy is the future (it's a scam), while deforesting areas with major environmental impacts (Amazon), overfishing to the point of changing the ecosystem (Whaling), and overall manipulating people into Bad Place choices by not giving us real options, and then shifting the blame to scapegoat average people for what they buy and how they use it when those companies are the ones producing it in the first place.

 

This world is a fucking clown show and I'm aiming to topple this tent.

one eyed liars

the more I know the less I say it's better that it stays that way, knowledge burgeoning from seams in ripples of time, blinded to the past but only in one eye, not divine but mortality entwined, ciphered seraphim entasked with choosing them, evolving beyond the means to proceed, it's a game plus it's new evolving beyond the means to proceed, it's a game plus it's new

your mother is a WHO-ORE

I'm so tired, I get it, I get that I chose this, but fuck am I tired of being the ONLY person who looks like me walking around here. Like, I get it, I am a paragon of queerness, I am a trans bard paladin attempting to charm people into accepting trans existence, as well as lure and crack Eggs by showing them what you can do. 

But I'm tired.

I'm tired of trying to do perfect makeup and being hyper dysphoric over facial hair, of facial shape, of my bulge- I don't even have balls anymore but my dick is so big it is still there and it makes me uncomfortable, I hate it, and I don't really enjoy my dick anymore, I feel like I force myself to masturbate as a form of emotionally soothing and help going to sleep. But I've had chances to fuck and I gave them up, I passed, ghosted even, because I don't really enjoy sex or care or think about it anymore.

But still, I dress like a slut, a straight up Frank Reynolds accent WHURE, I even overheard some kids on the other side of the street arguing, "Dude that's a prostitute, that is a female prostitute." Gender affirming and validating as fuck, but emphasizes the point that I stand out quite a lot. I don't do it on PURPOSE, it's how I LIKE to dress. If I could walk around with no shirt or bra, I absolutely would, and I DO literally every chance I get. Legal or not.

But still, I'm tired. I'm worn out. I don't want to be gawked at, I want people to fear me, to see me and avert their gaze to cross the street when they see me coming, that customers would form a line at self check out to avoid interacting with me. I want to be a devil, I want to be a demon, I want to be the manifestation of chaotic entropy and all the unbridled thermic energy it contains. 

Unto your flesh burns my manifest.

the tags have been placed, contact awaits

initiates may now proceed to the testing location

gravity gravisa gravira gravida gravida gravija

Our brains and bodies run on electricity, the background electric field covers and permeates all things on the planet, and the "aether" or whatever you wanna call the place quantum particles disappear to before they come back is where we can harness zero point energy, and gravity isnt a "thing" like time isn't a "thing" or how most "color" doesn't really exist. Gravity is the word used to describe the measurement of how the mass of an object warps space time, which causes other smaller objects to trail around it. And that's it! There no gravity particle like a graviton, it's an inherent property of other things like color or time to track change.