uh oh

And I already have a crush on her 😭 why is my brain like this. now I have to analyze everything I do to make sure I don't come on too strongly or weird her out or just be like idk overly flirty at least until I know how she feels about me but even then I know me I know I meet someone and like them and start obsessing and it's already happening and idk what to do. I don't wanna obsess and ruin WHATEVER kind of relationship we could have, but I also don't want to just avoid my feelings or like avoid her, I already respond instantly to her messages >___> and want to just keep talking to her and sending memes that I think she'd like <______< I keep thinking about maybe I should look through her Spotify see if I can make a playlist of songs i think she'd like, maybe I could draw something neat and give it to her, but it's like!!! what is love bombing??? that's not just being nice and giving someone stuff or doing things for them bc you think they are cool right? it's explicitly like trying to emotion from someone for the gifts yeah? I don't like manipulating people even by mistake :// I just like giving people things they like or might like and seeing them happy, especially like if it's something *I* already have, don't use or need, and they do need or want it, why shouldn't I give it them? isn't that just being a selfish asshole to hoard things somebody you care for enjoys and not share? idk maybe I am just not meant for this weird ass backwards clown world we occupate. fucking bpd fildkdkdndjdoog