Love has nothing to do with what someone can and can't do materially for you. Love is not about one-upping "rival" partners. Love is not about worshipping someone. Love is not about how much you wanna fuck someone. Love isn't about only the positive and none of the negatives.
Love is about caring for yourself as much as you do others, it's about showing yourself the same kindness that you want to show others. You can't love someone properly if you hate yourself. You are only trying to get validation, to feel worthy of loved. But you already are.
"Our" modern view of love is immoral, modern romanticism itself is rooted deep within Eurocentrism. Think to yourself, what is being romantic? Where do your views on romance come from? Movies? TV? Celebrities? Peers? Nobody considers where their influence lies. Think deeply.
If you find yourself constantly longing for romance that its a problem, consider cutting yourself off from entertainment sources that view romantic partners as objects to be obtained, to be won. Nobody is an object except those who identity as one and they STILL get to consent.
Capitalism is bullshit and incentivizes humans to be their worst possible selves. Capitalism has infiltrated every aspect of the human experience from your birth to your own romantic experiences. It taints everything we do with a narcissistic selfish glaze.
Humans are altruistic and good by nature, no amount of negativity in the world can prove to me otherwise. Humans act badly largely because of unknown trauma and stress due to living in a fear producing factory that exists to exploit them.
Also, holidays encourage us to be "giving" and "romantic" at specific times. If you want to fight the monetization of love, stop fucking going on dates on holidays. It's EXPECTED for a reason. Surprise gifts and dates are more in the spirit of true romance than "tradition."
Stop buying Hallmark cards. I don't care if you can't draw, your local public library will let you print color pages for 25¢. You have no excuse not to put more effort into your shows of affection. If you are incapable of caring for someone else, work on yourself first.
Write and leave notes. Message them when they don't expect it. Remember the things they like and care about. Have memory problems? MAKE NOTES FOR YOURSELF! I have done it my entire life because I KNOW I will forget basic shit like favorite colors, but I care so I make an effort.
And not just for romantic partners, love your FRIENDS. Love isn't just for sex. Love is about caring deeply about the well-being of someone other than yourself. Ask how they are doing, show interest in their lives if you really acknowledge them as your friend.
Do better!
No comments:
Post a Comment