I miss having an fp

 I feel like I fucked up letting people know who I really am like how crazy I am because it seems to just driven everyone away from me... I thought being more honest about who I am and happy and accepting it and living you know like... as my true self or whatever would draw people like me to me but I I guess that's the problem with neurodivergent people like I am so autistic and I'm schizophrenic am I borderline am I I don't even know anymore. I don't think it even matters. all that matters is it makes it really hard for me to have anybody close to me and that sucks