bill bill bill bill bill cy the taurid guy

zelkeritzack

Consider my absence as a search for the soul.
A trip through the inner wilderness.
Confronting devils that lurk and gnash.
Terror like a raging fire, uncontrolled and infuriated.

Rescue this spirit, slipping into the great unknown:
In the embrace of dreams, I wander far from this realm.
I falter, into the emptiness I'm tossed.
And in the darkness, old whispers loom closer.

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with or without you

colors bloom from shadows born of crimson hue in the twilight last hours blood on the morning dew

hallucinations (or not)

I wonder if there's a connection between aphantasia and lack of ability to consciously hallucinate, because unless I'm in schizo God Mode or thereabouts I usually don't hallucinate visually- not even on psychedelics. If I stay at low-mid ranges, it's basically nothing, just nice and feels interesting. High level I basically just veg out and go into like a half awake dream state.

rizz rizz if she can't do it jonoje can

breaking one line at a step by the digital code that prioritizes countless lives over mine that i find its too much for progeny of schizofrends whose brains go rizzyah 

untitled

Shimmering sands beneath shimmering stars upon a desolate beach
Waves breaking against the coast, darkness begging to be occupied
Thoughts freeze, fingers draw upward to point, while muscles tighten.
Not today, unfortunately
A contented turn, confident stride, a trek to weariness.
The beach looms before me, glittering and empty.
Sand glinting in the moonlight, among the glittering stars.
Crashing waves appeal to my tortured psyche, begging for relief.
anxious fear-frozen thoughts, tight muscles
My fingers slowly raise and motion to the vast expanse.
But today I refuse to submit.
To that dark tug of sorrow.
Instead, I turn and depart in a contented manner.
From this location of eerie beauty
Until fatigue overwhelms me and sleep takes control.

last night she said oh, baby, I feel so down, she turned me off, well, I've been in town, for just about fifteen whole minutes now

schizophrenia button

I can't deny

I'm losing my mind

That's why I try

Ink blots and

Quick thoughts

To get the point across

But it falls flat on

Audiences that perceive

Hints of violence as 

Discourse worthy of

Moderating

Eliminating

Dissenting voices

Still emanating

A whole chorus full of em

Not angels it's the

Demons that's wildin

Tried to tell them

You'll just end up ignore

Spoke of like Two-Face

Running as a centrist

Looking to sit on fences

Instead of mending the

Cracks and holes 

Fill your discussions

So much cheese why not

Call your shit a luncheon

If im causing dysfunction

Just call this concoction

The schizophrenia button

kintsugi

im like a broken record

full of cracks and scratches

making screeching sounds

i am kept around

because i remind you

of when things were more

simple and more innocent

though ive always been

broken and spinning

in circles 

maybe

you see the beauty

in a broken thing

that is fragile

and tormented

maybe

if you fill in 

all of the cracks

with a bit

of gold flake

it's not forever

but i will be new